Today’s tough question: What is a dealbreaker in a relationship? Let’s begin by defining a dealbreaker. Cambridge Dictionary defines dealbreaker as something that is important enough to you to prevent you from agreeing to something, buying something, etc. In relationships, it essentially boils down to something that occurs or is present that screams non-negotiable. One of my dear readers submitted this topic for discussion. Thank you.
First, think about what constitutes a dealbreaker in a relationship. Does the length of time you are with someone matters? Are there specific negative traits that maybe you did not notice in the other person initially? Are the characteristics now blaring and make you feel uncomfortable? Next, when should dealbreakers be a conversation- when you first meet, after a few dates or not until they present themselves?
Do dealbreakers in a relationship with a significant other differ from those that happen with a spouse? Once a dealbreaker occurs, should the offender have the opportunity to give their take on the situation? When the relationship dissolves as a result of the dealbreaker, does this end further interactions? However, are considerations made if children are involved? Last, are there universal dealbreakers, or are they specific to what an individual can tolerate? Time to hear your perspective on this tough question-What is a dealbreaker in a relationship? Feel free to share any experiences.
As I conclude, I invite you to send in tough questions that you may have about relationships. I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts on today’s subject. My covenant will I not break, nor alter the thing that is gone out of my lips. Psalms 89:34. I’ll be back next week with a new post, Tough Question: “If You Could Have One Relationship Wish Granted What Would It Be?”
Be encouraged, and God bless!
Sister Jackie
Other than the obvious deal-breaker of being spiritually un-evenly yoked, and also considering their effect on my emotional health, “my” deal breaker is someone that I would have to support financially from the start…understanding that things happen, BUT, from the start, at this point in my life, NO, NO, NO…!!!
I hear you! Everything has a breaking point. Thank you for always being “real” and sharing your thoughts. God bless you and keep you in His care!
My deal breakers would be anyone who isn’t a Christian – He must confess to love and serve Jesus Christ. He would have to love children. Non-smoker. No liars. I actually have a few more but those are the hard stops.
Deal breakers should be discussed very early in the relationship – even before formalizing a relationship. If I met someone and he’s not a Christian, then there is very little to move forward to.Why even get into a relationship then? However, some people can change or break habits, such as smoking. I believe smoking is such a nasty and bad habit but if the person I was interested in was a smoker but in the midst of quitting, I would probably still be wary of getting into a relationship with them but if they are working hard at quitting AND are successful at it, I may reconsider.
I also think it’s important to determine what is a deal breaker or hardstop vs those that you just prefer not to deal with. Some things you may be willing to compromise but others, you should not compromise on.
I genuinely believe if deal breakers are discussed early on, it lessens the time wasted in a relationship that may not move forward. If a person is a Christian truly and holy ghost filled most “hard stop,” deal breakers won’t be existent. And yes, it is vital to determine what is a deal breaker and what is not preferable to a person. We all have to compromise for something from time to time, but not every time. God bless you and keep you always in His care. Thank you for sharing!