Have you ever asked yourself or God, “Why Me?” I ask that question rhetorically because I believe that at some time in our life, we all have asked that question. If you didn’t get the promotion you wanted, or you get diabetes, and you love sweets, or some other severe illnesses or you have been cheated on, or you lose something precious, and the list can include so many other things. Each circumstance rendering a woeful, “Why me?” But, in this post, I want to use those two words in another way.
Have you ever wondered why someone wants to date you or marry you? Did you ask yourself or the other individual, “Why me?” It’s worth asking and knowing the reason. You are probably wondering what point am I trying to make. The point is there is a reason why you were chosen to be the significant other or spouse instead of someone else. Hopefully, the reason behind the decision is an honorable one. It doesn’t feel right or comfortable being the recipient of a dishonorable choice. I guess it’s time to be transparent for a moment to give you a clearer picture.
Giving all that I could to have a beautiful marriage and not always being the recipient of honorable treatment, I wondered, “Why me?” I was a faithful, loving wife, with all that came under that umbrella, but yet things happened that caused me heartache and pain, which should not have occurred. I chose to ask that question because I was confused. My next statement I am about to make may sound egotistical, but I am not egotistic. You may have heard of the 80/20 rule, but I use the 95/5 rule. I am giving you 95 percent, why would you want to ruin what you have for 5 percent? There was no good reason rendered. But, repeatedly, I was being told: “I love what you stand for.” You love it, but you don’t honor what I stand for- Shame. Someone dear to me once told me that some people are “in love with the idea of being married to a certain person, but they don’t want the commitment.” Sad situation because their actions cause pain and heartache without any cause.
So, I need to know, “Why me?” Is it only because you love what I stand for, or is it because I am someone you love, someone you want to pamper and treat the way you desire to be treated, someone you want to share your life with, and someone you know you can trust- This is just to name a few things. I need to know because if the things I just stated and other essential attributes will not be apparent in the relationship, then it won’t thrive. No one wants to feel used and feel that they make another person look and feel good without regard to how they are being made to feel.
The last point, if someone can’t give you a solid reason/s why they want to be with you, that’s a bright red flag! You may love what I stand for, but if you don’t express love and respect toward me, then what I stand for doesn’t matter, does it? Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 1 Corinthians 13:1. I’ll be back next week with a new post, “Don’t get it twisted!”
Be encouraged, and God bless!
Sister Jackie
This is an excellent blog and I totally get it. But when my second marriage didn’t work I didn’t ask ‘why me?’ I then asked ‘why him?’. Why wasn’t he smart enough to realize what a gem I am? Just this past Sunday I was sitting in church but was having an inner service with just God and I when the Spirit revealed to me that “God Loves me so much that he will chastise me when I mistreat me”. My initial misunderstanding to that was “WHAT?” until it hit me that God’s love for me is just that amazingly awesome!!! Sure I would love to be in a loving relationship/marriage because I know how precious I am but for any man not to recognize and appreciate that is his major loss. I’m not giving up on the opportunity to be in love and having a great and meaningful relationship but as you mentioned “I WILL NOT SETTLE”. I’ll stand for true love and pray to Almighty God that any red flags, green rags or blue banners will stop me from repeating any past mistakes in MY choices in any future relationship. Besides, with your blueprint blogs I can prepare myself – Thank You!!!
Wow! Totally awesome words my dear sister! It is truly such a shame that men often don’t appreciate the beautiful gift God has given them. Shame on them! God bless you and thank you so much for sharing that powerful message.
This brought to mind a couple quotes I have read, thought i would share them…And my take on it is that simply some people are just plain “selfish”.
First quote “Oh! What a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive” refers to how complicated life becomes when people start lying. It originally referred to a love triangle in the play “Marmion” by Sir Walter Scott.
Another quote: “There is a wisdom of the head, and a wisdom of the heart. In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks. Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment. Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers. ” – author unknown
So true it mostly boils down to one being selfish and only concerned about their own wants and needs. Thank you for sharing those great quotes. They speak volumes. God bless you.
Me..I am the one that is dear to you! LOL! But, yes, I have come across men (and have known women) who are not in relationships with people because of who that person is, but because of what they represented. People can love the idea of you and yet not love you. They love the idea of dating and marrying and having someone to live with or someone to go to events with, do life with together. But, they are not in love with YOU, just the idea of you. And it’s important to ask the question – why me? What about me do you love? If a person cannot answer that to your liking – or if you can’t answer that regarding who you are in a relationship with…the next question should be – what are we even doing?
Well said my “dear”! And after asking, “what are we even doing?” a statement very well may come next, “See ya!” Thank you for sharing, and God bless you.
Being in a new relationship it is important to have the “why” answered. I have been on the other end of someone loving the idea of me, but not respecting it. Your message today was powerful and needed. Thanks Ms. Jackie. 🙂
Thank you for sharing, and I hope your “why me?” in your new relationship yields a great loving response. God bless you!