“What I need to know: Do we have similar goals for the relationship?”

When we want to reach an expected outcome, what do we do? We set goals to lead us in the direction to accomplish what we are trying to achieve. We do this at work, at church, and whenever we have set our mind on gaining something. Well, what about in a relationship? I have often heard people say that opposites attract — not a bad thing. If one person is a chatterbox, then a quieter person will help to keep some of the conversations bearable. If one person doesn’t know the meaning of saving money, then a frugal individual will help the other person to not be excessive in spending. But, more importantly, do they share similar goals to begin a relationship?

When we meet someone and consider a connection with the person, we need to know if the other individual shares our goal/s for the relationship. Think about what season of life you are in presently ( that is a significant factor) if you are single. What would be your goal for the relationship? Do you want to date socially, or are you looking for something more long term like marriage? Whatever you are seeking as the result of this connection, does the other person share your relationship goal? Now I am not saying to start the relationship off Day one or Day two saying that you want to get married ( if that is what you want ), but on the other hand, if that is what you desire as an outcome, would it be better to make that known early on? You don’t want to waste the other person’s time, neither your own, do you? What is your thought? 

I think sometimes we are afraid to make our real thoughts, feelings, and desires known for fear of rejection and maybe being considered to be too forward. The story of Ruth and Naomi gives a beautiful story of how Ruth, through her mother-in law’s instruction, made her intent toward Boaz known- without compromising her integrity. We must be the same way. One can make their intention/goal known, without compromising one’s spiritual integrity. At this season of my life, I expect honesty and integrity in any relationship that I have. I need to know if I am involved with someone do they share my targeted goal for the relationship. I don’t want to date socially. I want one God-given individual that I can ultimately share my life with through marriage. That was right to the point. Right?

Since I am retired, I want someone to either be retired or near to it so we can spend our final days enjoying the life God has given us. I don’t want someone to tell me they want to settle down, travel, and enjoy life and not mean that. I have faced that with someone, which was quite disappointing. The whole point is to know upfront if my goals for the relationship are shared. If the other person’s intentions are not similar to yours, then you have some decisions to make. I am not personally going to waste time with something that is not going in the direction that I want it to go. I would love to hear your thoughts on this matter. You can either respond through the comments section or my private contact page. Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he. Proverbs 20:18. I’ll be back next week with a new post, “What I need to know: Can I depend on you emotionally?”

Be encouraged, and God bless!
Sister Jackie

This Post Has 6 Comments

  1. Audrey

    So true, we have to “watch and listen” for, and absolutely acknowledge the signs in all relationships, the good and the bad…because no one wants to be hurt by anyone simply because they just want to be genuinely loved, and, i think it hurts even more when we see the signs, but ignore them because of our weakness in our desires. Thanks for sharing…very thought provoking.

    1. Sis. Jackie

      Thank you for sharing. So true, no one desires to be hurt when all they seek is to be loved. God bless you.

  2. Karen

    I think the honest/upfront approach is exactly what is need in any relationship. I didn’t practice that in the past but know how crucial it is now – learned a lot from my own mistakes. I don’t need approval from anybody to tell me that I am ‘A GOOD THING’ to be found and I won’t settle ever again – I will remain single before that happens. I do believe that opposites attract and having different likes and dislikes can work in a relationship but I totally agree with having common life goals. I can’t and won’t be anybody’s forever girlfriend! I must say that right now I am really enjoying my singleness. The love story of Ruth is one of my favorites and to have a woman of wisdom to assist in her in such a happily ever after union was awesome!!! Com’on Somebody – ladies, let’s not settle for anything less than Boaz!!! Are you our modern day Naomi??? Love You for Sharing.

  3. Sis. Jackie

    God bless you, and I am right with you. Don’t want to be a “forever girlfriend,” neither will I settle for mediocre. Don’t know if I am the modern-day Naomi, but I like her style!!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. They always make me think a little bit further.

  4. Brenda

    Great insight on goal setting.
    How can two walk together unless they agree?

    1. Sis. Jackie

      They can’t! God bless you and thank you for sharing my sister.

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