When we meet someone, there are things that we need to consider at the beginning of the relationship. Often we may get so caught up with the individual that we overlook some important factors that can lead to the building of a great relationship or its downfall. There are several things we need to know from the onset. Sometimes we don’t look past what we see on the outside of an individual. Neglecting the inside of an individual, which is who the person is, can be a big mistake. Beginning with this post, I will be focusing on one of the factors that are important in a relationship. What do I need to know from the very beginning? I need to know if I can trust you.
Every good relationship, no matter who is involved, must be built on trust for it to survive. Sometimes it can be hard to trust someone due to past hurt. But, without trust, there will be no real connection made between individuals. So, how do you know when you can trust someone? For me, communication, verbal, and non-verbal is one critical determiner. Sometimes we can be afraid to ask questions when we first meet someone for fear that it will uncover that this person is not the “one” and we are back to square one. Also, we may not want to appear pushy by talking too much. But, let me tell you asking questions can save you heartache later on. A person’s body language speaks volumes also.
A few months ago, I met someone in a parking lot as I was leaving the grocery store. Kind of exciting, but not to the point where I wanted to find myself in the position of possible heartache. The person asked me right away if I was married. I replied, “No.” He asked for my telephone number and talked for a few minutes. I, in return, asked the individual if he was married. He replied, “No,” but his response appeared somewhat mumbled. I felt slightly unsure of his reply.
Well, to make a long story short in another conversation after that day, I asked the same question again and told the gentlemen that I didn’t feel comfortable with his response. After further discussion, he stated that technically, he wasn’t married because he was separated. My inner thought-hogwash! My verbal response, “You are married,” along with some other comments. My point-you have to ask questions to help determine if you can trust someone. Their actions, later on, will support or not support the notion of their trustworthiness. Well, you know that ended before it even began for several reasons, but it all boiled down to “I can’t trust you!” If you start off lying, you will continue to lie to support what you have been telling me.
Ladies, don’t be afraid to ask questions. Don’t be frightened to hear the answers to your questions. If that person is not the one that you can trust, continue to wait until God sends the one He has for you. When you seek to know if you can trust someone, you are protecting your heart from pain. Time and circumstances will either gain or negate one’s belief in an individual. I would love to hear some of your relationship “trust ” stories. How do you determine if you can trust an individual? But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart, and they defile the man. Matthew 5.18. I’ll be back next week with a new post, “What I need to know: Do we have similar goals for the relationship?”
Be encouraged, and God bless!
Sister Jackie
Very well stated!
God bless you! Thank you for sharing.
So sad but true, that in so many different type situations, that some people will be dishonest to try to get what they want, they are selfish, with no regard to whom it may hurt, because most times we don’t become extra cautious until after we have been hurt, at least that is my story.(LOL, and, I believe that after you finished telling him “what for”, “what the Word says”, Sis, I know “that man” will NEVER forget “you”, …but, prayerfully he will be encouraged to change his way).
But Thank God for discernment, being sensitive to the Holy Spirit works…he is the ultimate investigator and danger alert. I ask God often, to not only search my heart but, also to help me to guard my heart also, for we all desire good relationships with others, no one “wants’ to be hurt, or taken for granted.
Your blogs always bring new insight to me…Thank You, stay encouraged, and God Bless You too Sis!
No, he won’t forget me lol! Thank God for his Holy Spirit and thank God for a mind to not be swayed by the foolishness of others. God bless you and thank you for those words of wisdom!
This is so good!!!!!!!!!! I had to learn the hard way and lay in my bed of heartache because I didn’t ask the right questions and ignored the signs that God almost literally hit me upside my head with. I was so selfish in desiring what I wanted to happen in and with the relationship that I didn’t even care about what my Ex wanted or desired. I was feeling entitled and thought because of life situations that I finally deserved to have it my way. Boy-oh-Boy was I foolish and wrong. I might have mentioned in a past post that I apologized to my Ex for interrupting his life in such a selfish way. He was upfront about his crazy but I thought that I would be able to change his crazy to meet the needs of my crazy. Maybe we should design/create a questionnaire for first meetings/dates and once completed (by the prospect) take at least one week to fast/pray to discern the authenticity of the contents before responding, lol. I really appreciate you taking the time to share your wisdom and experiences.
Wow, such powerful thoughts! I like that idea of the questionnaire lol. You create it and I’ll post it! God bless you my dear sister!