Have you ever admired a Christian married couple and even desired to have your marriage like theirs or prayed that when you did get married, your spouse would behave in the same manner as the person/s you admire? Did your inner notion tell you that their marriage was the closest thing to perfection in a marriage? Even when they may have disagreed publicly, it was with so much finesse that it barely appeared to be a disagreement.
Maybe you and your Christian or saved spouse were the ones admired by other couples or individuals. Well, whichever way or whomever the couple you believed the union would last forever. Then one day, you hear that this couple of the year is no longer a couple of today, or that’s your situation. The marriage is over! Your first thought is, “What happened to the two of them or the two of you? They both love Jesus; they both are dutiful and faithful to their physical church. And the same applied to the both of you. So, again you wonder, “What happened?”
Well, this is our discussion topic for this week’s tough question. After giving this some thought, please share your thoughts. Remember, these posts may help others who are going through or have gone through a particular situation and want to avoid future pitfalls. So, don’t be shy, share your thoughts. I have a variety of age groups who read these weekly posts, so all views are needed to give a balanced picture. Whenever possible, provide a biblical perspective to drive your thoughts home. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Mark 10:9. I’ll be back next week with a new post, Tough Question: “In Serious Relationships How Does One Talk About And Accept Their Partner’s Past? Or Should The Past Be Left In The Past?”
Be encouraged, and God bless!
Sister Jackie
When I was going through in my marriages (there were two that ended in divorce) I did get a little envious to see other couples seemingly happy. But looking back I remember my (what I thought was a miserable relationship) lasted years longer than their happily ever after and that their misery was masked with fakes smiles. My mistake was judging and comparing my relationship with theirs in the first place because even though I ignored the countless red flags before saying “I Do” (both times) I learned so much from my own mistakes. Our focus should never be on someone else’s relationship unless we are praying for them anyway. I’ve come to realize that thinking that the grass was greener sometimes turns out that the other side has no grass at all. So now as I pray for the marriages/relationships for others, I try to stay focused on my relationship with Christ more than any other relationship.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It is greatly appreciated. Yes, more often than not the grass isn’t greener on the other side, or as you said there may not be any grass at all. I still wonder about couples who are professing Christianity or profess being saved. What causes their marriage to end in failure? I ask this question to provide some enlightenment possibly to Christian couples who are struggling in their marriage. God bless you, and Heaven smile upon you!
I will attempt to shed some light on “why I think some Christian marriages fail“. This is such a loaded question.
There are many issues that will arise within any marriage; (Christian or not) such as;
1. Communication (Poor, no)
2. Inability to resolve conflicts
3. Finances
4. Not shared vision
5. Marrying for the wrong reason
6. Blended family
7. Infidelity
8. Many, many more
When it comes to Christian marriages, we must start with purpose (the reason for);
To glorify God, to reflect Christ and His bride, for procreation etc, The word is our foundation that we build upon. If we began our marriage based on the word, then we should continue to build on it based on the word. Whether you are a novice in the word or mature, good pre- marriage counseling, based on the scriptures, can be so beneficial and can save you a lot of headaches and money down the road.
We live in an evil world (Ep. 5:15-17), and there are subtle influences that effective us more than we know or willing to admit. We stop reading the word together, we stop praying together, we stop dating, stop communicating, stop celebrating, stop cooperating, and no consideration.
Watch out for the little foxes; they become big in due time.
If we want to see any living thing grow, we must water it,
feed it, nurture it, prune it;
Last but not least, Sometimes you’re just not equally yoked.
Remember; The purpose for dating is to collect data.
FYI; If your grass is not as green as your neighbors; water it, weed and feed it and it will grow.
There is nothing for me to add or subtract! You have given a comprehensive and insightful response. May others read and ingest what you have written. Let’s all remember to glorify and reflect Christ in our lives, that it may spill over into our marriage. Heaven’s blessing upon you today and always.