When you meet someone and develop a serious relationship, the next step is usually to meet their family and friends. That can be exciting and kind of signals that the two of you may be in for the long haul. Your love for your significant other or spouse often extends to their family and friends. You enjoy being around their family and friends at gatherings and social events. Their friends and family become close to you as yours may become close to them. They treat you like family! This treatment is especially significant if you have a small family or circle of friends. Everything is going well until things start to happen between you and your significant other/ spouse, and now you are no longer a couple.
Well, bonds have formed that connected you with those individuals connected to your Ex. Now that the two of you are disconnected, what happens to the relationships you have developed? Do you fall out with everyone because you are unhappy or mad with your Ex? Do you not receive their phone calls, texts, or emails? Do you blame them for being a part of why you two are not together, even if you know that they are not the blame? Do you want to keep the relationship you have with them intact, though your Ex doesn’t want you involved with his family and friends anymore?
Do you continue to plan outings with them or invite them to your home for various events and special gatherings? Do you continue to remember their birthdays or other milestones in their life? If you went on girl trips with some of his family members in the past, do those trips continue? The list goes on. Where do you stand? Let’s take it to the other side. Your former significant other/ spouse wants to maintain relationships with your family and friends! How do you feel about this? Alright, I am waiting to hear from you concerning this matter. The Lord will give strength unto his people; the Lord will bless his people with peace. Psalm 29:11. I’ll be back next week with a new post, Tough Question: “When Is Giving Too Much-Too Much In A Relationship?”
Be encouraged, and God bless!
Sister Jackie
This is a really good question. I developed a relationship with a very close friend of my ex and to this day we are still friends. Actually, she is more like a sister than a friend. I can also speak from the other side I have an ex daughter-in-law who I was and still am close to. While some would shy away from continuing with relationships that involved an ex – if the friends of the ex or family of the ex want to continue the relationship, then I see no reason to not. My family still treats my ex with kindness, they still treat my grandkids mother with kindness. If they were not part or cause of the breakup, I really don’t see it as an issue.
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I find myself being the same way. I yet remain close to family and friends of my Ex’s. Years ago, when one of my brothers divorced, his ex-wife lived with my mom for several years. I treated her like a sister. I can go a step further- when my first husband passed ( he remarried), his wife asked me to do the eulogy. I gladly did it. Her family embraced me and showed me so much love at the services and the repast. He was the father of all my children, and I wasn’t going to the repast with them, but his wife’s family insisted. They treated me as if I was their family too! The way we treat others will determine how the aftermath of a relationship plays out. Bless you, my sister, and Heaven’s grace and mercy keep you safe.
I guess it depends on the circumstances – as for me having been married and divorced twice, I love and am still very close with the family members of my first husband and that could be because we have children together. I remember when he was in a relationship with another woman (after our divorce) and my grandson had a birthday party – he said “I was going to bring my friend but I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable” well for those that know me – my response “You should have invited her, I’m cool and drama free when it comes to us. If it’s not about the children their is no us” of course laughing while saying it. I love the strength God gives me not to hold a grudge even when I’ve been hurt by someone. He has passed but I loved him even knowing that we were not good for one another. To be real and honest, in my separations/break-ups/divorce I’m okay with staying my distance if they are uncomfortable with me and will also be okay with socializing. Second husband was an only child and only got to know his Mother (who is now deceased) and I used to stay in touch with him but I guess he wasn’t comfortable with that – I haven’t heard from him and I pray that all is well – so moving on! I love people and some only because I want to stay in good standing with God!!! But for the most part I can hang with the Ex’s family and friends and I count it a blessing because I’ve seen the chaos when it ends badly and the hatred among people.
Yes, every situation is different, but if there isn’t any discomfort in maintaining relationships that have formed, then why not? Again, it’s a personal choice. And yes, when relationships end badly sometimes distance is essential for the well being of all. Thank you so much for sharing, and may God shower His love upon you richly. God bless you!
Ummm…no lol. You break up with me, you break up with my family as well. I end it with you, I no longer know your family LOL! Joking lol. But, seriously, for the most parts, once the relationships have ended for me, so has communication with the ex’s family. I remember when I moved to Houston and my ex’s brother called me and said “Hey sister”. I’m glad we were on the phone because my face scrunched up so badly. We are no longer brother-and-sister – that ceased with the relationship. I also had another ex whose cousin was so upset when I deleted all of the ex’s family members and friends from off of my FB list. The cousin actually sent me a message voicing her displease. I was shocked but I guess she figured just because her cousin and I broke up, that our friendship shouldn’t suffer. I did add her back to my friendship list but rarely communicate with her. However, I believe that unless you are still in communication with your ex, there should be no communication with their family or friends. Not even his mama or grandma lol
Now, in both cases (as well as my other relationships), we were not married and they were not relationships that lasted for years and years. So that could be a reason due to not developing longterm friendships with the ex’s family and friends. However, if you have children with this person or were married for a long while, I can see where you have developed friendships and relationships with the ex’s family members and friends.
It would all depend on the circumstances. Inviting them to special events? Probably only if a child was involved. Planning trips with them? Probably not lol. Nothing wrong with sending birthday wishes/texts, though.
I just prefer to not communicate with anyone associated with my ex if I’m no long associating with the ex.
I hear what you are saying. As I previously stated, it’s a personal choice for the individual. One person loves tea, and another loves coffee. To each her own! Thank you for sharing your deep thoughts. May Heaven smile upon you, and God bless you.