When a car gets out of its lane into yours, this can cause a significant accident. Our tough question today deals with how do you peacefully get family members to stay in their lane? You want to avoid a substantial collision. I will present this question to you concerning having a significant other or spouse. Let’s address the easier one first, which deals with a spouse. I say it is easier because the bible gives us a clear viewpoint on this matter. When two people decide to join their lives together in holy matrimony, the scriptures tell us two things: What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder (Mark 10:9) and For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife (Mark 10:7).
So, when you get married, can we assume that the spouse is number one after God? If this is the case, how do you have a peaceful connection with family members who want to be above you in the relationship? I will give you a made-up example: You need your husband to take care of something important to you and in need of his attention, but his mother or a sibling wants him to do something simultaneously. What should his response be? Should he yield to the demand of his family member and put your request on the back burner? And, if he does, how do you handle his response in your connections with his family?
Let’s go a step further and say your needs are consistently not met because of his family members’ demands. Do you go along to get along, and remain upset or hurt most of the time? Or do you address it with those disrupting your marital life?
I feel most people know to respect older people. You want to respect his mother, while her mindset is to have her sonny boy/baby boy or whatever she calls him to meet her requests first always (these requests are not emergencies or health-related). How do you maintain a peaceful relationship? And at the same time, get her to stay in her position as a mother, not as his wife? Same thing for siblings or any other close family members who try to drive in your path instead of knowing their place and staying in their lane.
We can apply all of this to a relationship with a significant other minus the scriptures that apply to married couples. Although you are not married to the individual, you are moving in that direction. You want to feel that you are valuable and valued by your significant other. One always has to remember the treatment you receive from someone in the dating stage may remain the same or lessen. If there is no respect, honor, and caring before marriage, the wedding ceremony doesn’t change that. It is essential to see how one’s significant other interacts with their mother and other family members while in a relationship commitment.
So, tough question how do you peacefully get family members to stay in their lane? I look forward to reading your comments on this matter. If you feel comfortable, please share any experience you may have. As always, you can respond by using “Anonymous” in place of your name. The ultimate goal is to help someone else who is facing a similar situation. Today ends our “Tough Question” series for now. Thank you for your participation. Now the Lord of peace himself give you peace always by all means. The Lord be with you all. 2 Thessalonians 3:16. I’ll be back next week with a new post, “Show Me Your Glory!”
Be encouraged, and God bless!
Sister Jackie
Sadly there will always be those that can’t let go and give due respect of the choices their loved ones have made for a mate, whether they approve or not. Some have not grown to be able to respect the sanctity of marriage amongst others, but dare not anyone to invade their marriage or even their relationships in general. Truly, sometimes they may need to interject when it is a matter of safety, but some just can’t let go and see someone else have the upper hand in their loved ones life when they once had that position.
All in all it is a touchy subject and can be looked at from a lot of different justified angles. But personally I think it should be an eye-opener as to what one may be getting themselves into in that relationship for the future. We often think that our influence in someone’s life will change them, but that does not always happen, especially when and how that we may want it to. Personally I think if you say “I do” and you already know that this is how things are happening in this area in the relationship, then, it should be no surprise that it continues to happen. A quote I like is by Maya Angelou — “When someone shows you who they are believe them the FIRST time.”
To me, in these matters, it is truly about accepting the fact that we make our own choices, in that we take chances because of our desires, but yet pray that God may turn the un-desirable aspects around, and, if He doesn’t, then know that His Grace is sufficient for thee to endure until the end, for the greater good. But, I believe that it takes growth in wisdom and strength to accept that we made the choice and were not blind-sided in this matter, because it began with them like this, and in spite of knowing this, yet we stayed. Just my thoughts…
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I always enjoy reading them. Yes, this is a touchy subject and needs God’s guidance to navigate the waters. When one loves their spouse, it encompasses the whole family. Even our own families sometimes present challenges. Before one becomes a spouse, it’s good to watch and pray. God bless you, keep you and wrap His arms around you!
Thanks Sis, I too enjoy your weekly blogs and all of the comments that others contribute…
And this question, to me, brings up the question “Is just LOVE alone, enough”?…
May God Bless, keep and hold you and all of your readers too, in His loving arms, that this blog continues to be a blessing to us all, …for truly you are a genuine woman of God
Thank you so much for those encouraging words, and I am going to make your question, “Is just Love alone, enough?” into a post and let the readers answer. Good topic for thought! It will come forth in two weeks, so everyone, please start thinking about the subject! Thank you, my sister! Blessings!