How many times have we said to our self, “Next time will be better. It won’t be like this next time.” Next time could and should be better, but it won’t be if we choose to have a relationship with the same kind of person, or continue to do some of the same things in a new relationship that didn’t work in the past one. Nothing changes, and the cycle of broken pieces only continues. Healing has no place to reside in you, and more heartache may seek a place in your heart. Some things that we do are not necessarily wrong, but not right for the relationship. The individual may not be a terrible person, but not good for you. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result. If we have experienced heartache in a relationship, we need to look closely at what may have been some of the contributing factors.
As I said in a previous post, no one individual is exempt from ownership in the breakdown of the relationship. Sometimes the things that we do that are not necessarily wrong can contribute to the decline of the relationship. I understand well why Paul did not marry. He wanted to devote his life totally to furthering the gospel. When we marry, we must continue to do God’s work, but also be a devoted spouse. Don’t you agree? I was in a conversation with a dear friend, and we talked about how sometimes, as married Christian women, we run to every service because we love God and our church. But, we neglect our marriage relationship sometimes, and in doing so, we leave room for the devil to enter into the mind of our spouse. I have been there.
One thing I am guilty of because I was self-absorbed in my own spiritual needs. I never gave up my membership to my church and joined my spouse’s church. Even though I was allowed to remain at my church, I know that in the long run, things might have been different on some levels. Does that justify some of the heartaches? No, but don’t give the devil space to run wild while you serve God. I bring these things to light because I know how Christian women struggle to be a good wife and give God their best. There has to be a balance. I have learned a few things and declare and decree that some things will be different the next time. We can’t get caught in a cycle of doing the same thing the next time around. We can love God, be faithful to Him, and have good healthy relationships.
We must learn from past deeds. Everything is not wrong, but neither is it fitting to the relationship. Think about what may have contributed to your heartache in past or present situations. What are some of the causes? What role did you play? One last point, being equally yoked, which is a whole conversation by itself, will save you a lot of grief. Don’t get caught in a cycle of settling for anyone not to be alone. If there is next time, don’t make that mistake.
Communication is critical in any relationship. Conversing about simple matters can help you not to continue in a cycle of doing some of the same things the next time around that may have contributed to your past heartache. Let next time be the best time of your life! To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away. Ecclesiastes 3:1,6. I’ll be back next week with a new post, “Stop Living a Second-Hand Life!”
Be encouraged, and God bless!
Sister Jackie
Wonderful post
Well stated, Sis. Jackie!
Thank you and God bless you!
Thank you and God bless you!
Amen Sis. These words you have shared, will truly help a lot of women, married and un-married. No matter how good of a husband I have thought some may be that have pursed me, I have avoided these relationships because I could see not being “evenly yoked” with them, for The Holy Spirit let me know that in this area, good is not good enough if it is not evenly yoked.
I figure “the one” that God has for me, (although I am good without it), will be evenly yoked from the start, and since he has not yet been identified to me as such, (LOL) then i totally do not actively seek after it. Because in the meantime, Our God gives me Peace, Comfort, Joy, Hope, Patience, and Provision,…and I trust my Heavenly Father beyond any percentage. Thank you so much for sharing a piece of your heart and wisdom.
Amen my sister! When we listen to the Holy Spirit we can’t go wrong. Main problem, we don’t listen and we keep repeating the cycle next time!
What a beautiful post. I too have many memories of an imbalanced relationship between God and my significant other. As I move further along though I began to wonder if the relationship that I have been neglecting has been the one that I need with the Lord. I can’t help but think that this proverbial ferris wheel of duplicate relationships have a lot to do with me not solidifying a concrete relationship with God first. What do you think Sister Jackie, is it possible that a broken relationship with God allows you to find comfort in the same old wrong that feels right in a man? You definitely have me thinking with this one! lol 🙂
Wow! Thank you for your comments. They have made me look even closer at myself. I have walked with the Lord a long time and tried to dedicate my life to Him, but have I genuinely let Him be Lord over every decision that I make? Sadly, I must say, “No.” If, I had would I have repeated some of the same things in relationships? If I had indeed taken the time to hear from Him, would I have made some of the choices that I made? Yes, I believe a broken relationship with God allows the devil to take advantage of us, but the link doesn’t even have to be “broken” for us to become comfortable in settling for what is not in our best interest. There is an innate need for humans as well as animals I believe to belong and bond with others. Sometimes that need is stronger than our desire to “wait on the Lord.” Therefore, we don’t take His lead, and by not doing so, it can lead to heartache. Well, the next time around we figure it will be different, but it won’t be if we don’t take time to listen to His quiet voice or the signs He sends our way. As, I said in the post as for me, “I declare and decree that some things will be different the next time.” One thing will be for sure listening closely for the voice of God, and not only hearing, but obeying His voice. God bless you.
Indeed! Thank you!
Thank you!
Great stuff! I’m just now catching up…lol
I understand. Thank you for stopping by. God bless you!