When we are experiencing brokenness even though we want to heal if we are not careful, we will harbor ill feelings toward the one who hurt us. I was speaking with someone recently who is rebuilding a relationship. Even though the person desperately wants the relationship to be renewed hurtful feelings sometimes can produce harmful deeds. Someone shared a statement with me once, which prompted me to write this post, ” You have to take your foot off of the punishment pedal.” If we continue to try to punish the other person, healing will never take place. Two wrong deeds only prolong progress toward rehabilitating the relationship.

When you drive a car and want to slow down, you have to take your foot off of the accelerator pedal. Continuing to press the pedal will keep the vehicle moving, and if you are approaching a red light, a significant accident can follow. Next, put on brakes to stop the car. So it is with our life. When you have experienced hurt in a relationship, and you want to rebuild it, you have to take your foot off of the punishment pedal. Otherwise, the longer you keep trying to punish the other person, instead of love returning to the relationship, there is a possibility hatred may find a corner to grow in. There is a thin line between love and hate. You never want ever to jump that line, but especially when you want to repair what has already become broken. 

We can apply this not only to the brokenhearted individual but also to the one who caused the heartache. You might think, how can the one who has created this mess in the first place even think of trying to punish anyone. Crazy right? Mostly yes. But, this is what may happen. Sometimes when a person is working hard to better their self, they start off accepting punishment because they feel that they deserve it. But when it goes on so long, and they are genuinely repentant they can get discouraged with the table-turning mistreatment. The person now may have resentful feelings and want to include some form of punishment of their own, thus hindering further progress in the relationship. Why may that happen? Because the individual may feel they are doing their best to redeem their self, to no avail. That is why some relationships may not reconcile because of repeated cycles of hurt on both sides.

I had a conversation with someone recently concerning this matter and expressed to the person that trust and forgiveness after betrayal don’t happen overnight. Patience and endurance are needed on their part if they want the relationship to renew. When the person who is hurt can move toward forgiveness, they will begin to take their foot off of the punishment pedal. When clemency comes forth, brakes will be put on the punishment to stop it altogether. I, say to you if you are trying to punish someone for your pain and heartache, it’s because you haven’t forgiven the other person. Forgiveness is critical to you for healing.  Take your foot off the punishment pedal and leave that to God. If you are the one who caused the pain and heartache be patient with the one who is hurt. In due time, God can lift their foot off the punishment pedal, if you don’t get weary in well-doing. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Romans 12:19. I”ll be back next week with a new post, “Let Patience be your Weapon!”

Be encouraged, and God bless!
Sister Jackie