Simply forgiveness? No. There is nothing simple about forgiveness. It can be complicated, and it takes a lot of work. Can it be rendered? Yes, and it is God’s requirement for a Christian’s life.  In this first post on forgiveness, I will talk about what forgiveness is and is not. Only deciding to forgive isn’t enough. Concrete actions must be taken to make forgiveness real. First and foremost, one has to know what forgiveness is. Forgiveness is… People, upon rationally determining that they have been unfairly treated, forgive when they willfully abandon resentment and related responses (to which they have a right), and endeavor to respond to the wrongdoer based on the principle of beneficence, which may include compassion, unconditional worth, generosity, and moral love (to which the wrongdoer, by nature of the hurtful act or acts, has no right) (Enright &Fitzgibbons, 2000)

Forgiveness is not pardoning, excusing, accepting, or overlooking a wrong. It’s not passive by which we just let time heal our wounds and heartache. It’s not something that happens quickly, nor based on the words, “I forgive you.” It’s not a decision without a process following that decision to forgive. It’s not getting even with someone or executing revenge (an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth). I think you get the message.

Forgiveness is a process by which an individual acts upon the desire to forgive. When you look at the word, forgive, it contains the word “give.” Giving is handing over or releasing something to someone.  When we forgive, we give someone that by all rights they do not deserve. They should not have. We also give up our right to hold the offense against them.

Most importantly, we give up our hostage situation because when we hold unforgiveness in our heart, it keeps us hostage. Forgiveness isn’t for the offender; it’s for the one who has been offended to be free to live. That is why I chose forgiveness after going through heartache and pain. I wanted the freedom to live as God desired me to live. His plan for my life did not include being in bondage. I also knew that without giving forgiveness, it would not be given to me by my heavenly father. It did not happen quickly for me, but it happened. Being a Christian, being saved does not shield us from the pain of heartache.  It does give us greater responsibility and greater accountability for our actions.

In the next post, I will share how I overcame unforgiveness toward an individual I never dreamed would break my heart.  The ones we love are the ones who can cause the most pain and heartache. Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage? he retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mercy.  Micah 7:18. I’ll be back next week with a new post, “Forgiving You!”

Be encouraged, and God bless!

Sister Jackie