This post is the second in the November “Sharing the Spotlight!” series. The post is unedited and comes from the heart of Elder Jarad J. Davis. I genuinely appreciate Elder Jarad for being a contributor to this blog. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts with us.
I am fortunate to be able to give single people at my church, where I am the executive pastor, advice from time to time. That advice is quite simple. Stay single as long as you can. That might sound odd coming from a man who is married and absolutely loves being married to his wife. But the reason I share that advice is that, for too long, the church has promoted marriage without really helping folks discover and develop who they are before marriage.
For a long time, church folks have espoused the idea that “it is better to marry than to burn” (1 Corinthians 7:9). This scriptural reference has led to many people sharing vows with each other that they never really meant and leading to unhealthy marriages that at best ended in divorce or at worst, a lifetime of misery. The problem here is that we often use biblical content without basic context. Paul is talking about the limits of self-control, but he is not telling you to get married without any thought or wisdom. As a matter of fact, Paul is encouraging singleness. Thus, while marriage is a beautiful bond between two people, there is much to be enjoyed in a life of singleness.
Singleness should be a time of continual self-discovery. Singleness is an opportunity to travel, literally or figuratively, to parts unknown. Singleness is a chance to find and refine your purpose. Singleness opens doors to fruitful connections that can have meaningful rewards. And, yes, being single can eventually lead you to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. But there’s no need to rush. Enjoy the ability to sit with your thoughts. Take advantage of the opportunity to take yourself out on a date. Use this time to discover places that intrigue you. And when you finally do meet “the one,” you don’t have to say, “You complete me.” But your marriage will be that much better because you are already whole.
– Jarad J. Davis
Thank you Elder Davis for this blog on singleness. So many marriages would be so much better if they had the advice you are giving today.
Nice
Thank you, Elder Jarad, for this thought-provoking post. Before we become one with someone else, we need to be comfortable with ourselves. I agree. We don’t need someone to complete us. Our wholeness needs to be in place before marriage. I truly enjoyed reading this post and am grateful to you for taking time from your busy schedule to enlighten us on singleness. May the grace of God shower you with blessings from above as you continue to do the Lord’s work. God bless you abundantly.
Thank you Elder Jarad for sharing these very well stated, enlightening, and encouraging words. Truly it is wise to never be anxious for anything. Also you have given another example in showing how patience is the greatest virtue, for it can be very challenging to stay stedfast in patience in the matters of the heart. But staying patient throughout the journeys of life, can truly pay off for our good, and these “good things” can truly be worth the wait. And if we remained patient, we can then more deeply savor these “good” rewards, simply because we “savored” the process in our life’s journey..
Again thank you for sharing this fresh outlook!
Love this Elder Jarad! I definitely plan to continue to “Savor Amy Singleness” for as long as I can!