I think most people have heard the term buyer’s remorse. This term defines when someone purchases a house, car, or some other major purchase and regrets doing so. Have you ever bought something and later felt it was the wrong decision? Could have been a significant purchase like a car or house, or a less major decision like ordering a particular entree at a restaurant. We are continually making decisions day by day. Some are minor decisions, and some are major ones. To every decision, we make there is an outcome and sometimes a consequence. The choices we make that render a less than desirable result most likely will cause us to regret our action. In essence, we are experiencing buyer’s remorse.

Well, as much as we may regret a purchase, the feeling that we acquire when we make the wrong decision in a relationship does not even compare. All of us at some time or other have regretted choices that we have made in our personal lives, but we may not be able to change our decision. Oh, what joy if we could! I often say that our life here on earth is not a rehearsal; it’s the real thing. If we could redo things or rewind our experiences, we wouldn’t make some of the choices that we have made. So, what do we do? Keep lamenting over our decisions? Be angry or irritable with people who don’t deserve our attitude? Keep wishing over and over that I should have made another choice? The answer to all of those questions is, “No.”

We have to let the thoughts go. Is that easy to do? No, again. But it is a must. I have been there lamenting, crying the whole nine yards, but it didn’t change things. It did increase my blood pressure, which was not good. So, how does someone get past those feelings? Focus, focus focus on other things, and let it go. I know you may feel that it is easier said than done, but I know it can be. Things only bother us when we keep them in the forefront of our mind. Move the regrets to the back, until they finally leave your thoughts. The word of God reminds us to think on good things and when we make Jesus our focus that will keep us in perfect peace. In most relationships, there is usually something good that happened. If not, would you have chosen to be with that person in the first place?

Or on the other hand, you might be regretting the discontinuance of a relationship which might be a personal one or a marriage that ends in divorce. Sometimes we are hasty in our decision to end relationships or marriage. Doing so can lead to heart-wrenching remorse. My thought is, even if you have biblical grounds for a divorce don’t make a hasty decision that you may regret the rest of your life. In all matters, diligently seek God, and if you have spiritual leaders, a pastor, a First lady spend time in counseling with them, if possible. They can pray with you and for you as you seek God’s divine guidance. If I can be transparent for a moment, I should have done that, and I didn’t. My actions resulted in remorse.

Relationship remorse is a hard thing, especially when it may affect not only you but others close to you. But, you have to let it go so you can move forward in your life and have some peace and joy again. If a relationship or marriage is to survive, thoughts must change from remorse to an attitude of working through situations. I know that with God’s help, it assuredly can be done. Most important is the personal relationship that we maintain with God. God didn’t promise that life would always be easy, but He promises that we will never be alone. Trust God to hold your hand and lead you to better days. Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Isaiah 26: 3 I’ll be back next week with a new post, “There is an Expiration Date!”

Be encouraged, and God bless!

Sister Jackie