Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a victim as one that is subjected to oppression, hardship, or mistreatment. It establishes a victor as one that defeats an enemy or opponent. Now let’s apply these terms to relationships. How do you feel when you are in a relationship? Do you feel victimized or victorious? What constitutes feelings of victimization? How does victory feel? I ask these questions to allow you to take a closer look at your relationships- Not a victim, but a victor!
Henceforth, we can spare ourselves some anguish and pain when we can see our role in a relationship. If we are always feeling taken advantage of, never being on the receiving end in a relationship, we are victims. Moreover, it doesn’t matter how much the person says he loves you; actions are louder than words. Too many times, people settle not to be alone, which is an injustice to themself. Settling is never the right thing to do. Not a victim, but a victor!
Therefore, what do you think a victim may look like in a relationship? Is it someone who always gives and very rarely receives? How about the person’s self-esteem; is it low? Do you feel undeserving and a lack of caring from the other person? Does the person you are with make you feel inadequate? Can you think of any characterizations of a victim?
Next, let’s look at a victor. A victor is a winner. How does that look in a relationship? Does the person receive love and caring, and is there equal giving and sharing in the relationship? What about self-esteem? Is it high? Therefore consequently, are there more gains in the relationship than losses? Can you think of any probable characteristics of a victor in a relationship?
Subsequently, I wrote this post to encourage women to zoom in on their relationships. Every woman desires a successful one. However, during this season, loneliness is more prevalent and may contribute to individuals accepting generally unacceptable treatment.
Moving on, I will get a little deep now- not sure you will appreciate it, but it’s only to help. Women, stop letting men cause you to change you and become something less than what God has called you to be. There is an old saying I used to hear in my younger days from wise women. If a man can have all the milk he wants, then why buy the cow? Think about it. Why will he? What would be his reason? He will continue getting free milk, ice cream, butter; you name it- never paying the price or making a commitment.
As I conclude, I will end on this note by saying, walk the victorious walk, ladies! Say to yourself-Not a victim, but a victor. If it means walking this life alone for a while, wait until God gives you the one that will provide you with a victorious relationship. But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:57. I’ll be back next week with a new post, “The Tares and The Wheat!”
Be encouraged, and God bless!
Sister Jackie
I’m not currently in a relatioship but I appreciate this post. I like the line – walk the victorious walk. Sometimes that walk involves walking AWAY. If you are not getting what you deserve or the commitment you desire – walk away. Sometimes the victory comes in fighting and staying but a lot of times, the victory comes from the walking away. Know the difference, ladies!
Yes, walking away can make all the difference in a relationship sometimes. Staying may be easier to do, but one must consider whether it is profitable not only to our natural being but also to our spiritual being. What profits a man to gain this whole world and lose his soul. Think about it, ladies! Thank you for sharing, Monique, and may God bless you to walk in victory in a relationship that He ordains!