At some point in our life, we will experience some form of loneliness. Loneliness can stem from being separated from others through job retirement, death of a loved one, relocating, separation, divorce, and the list goes on. After our heart has been broken for whatever reason, and we find our self alone, this can cause emotional loneliness. That can cause further brokenness in our spirit. Extended isolation can break our spirit and can cause bitterness, jealousy, insecurities, anxiety, and other unhealthy emotions to take root in us. From the beginning of time, God did not desire us to be alone. But, life’s ups and downs can easily lead us to a road of loneliness. So what do we do when we reach the crossroads of loneliness? Which way do we choose to follow? It’s only two choices: God’s way or our way.

When our loneliness results from someone we thought would be by our side forever, that can be hard to handle. Most especially if you are married to that individual. God’s way doesn’t allow you to compensate by seeking comfort with someone else (if you are married). We are not responsible for the actions of others, but we are accountable for our actions. For the sake of transparency, I’ve been there. I know what it feels like to be lonesome in a marriage. Technically, I wasn’t alone physically, but emotionally I was. We can have someone’s presence, but if they are not emotionally connected to us because they are doing their thing, loneliness can seep in. What I preached, I had to live. There is no retaliation for mistreatment when we do things God’s way. What made it even harder for me was the fact that I didn’t want to share my circumstances with everyone. So people didn’t know the actual reality behind the smiling face. I have always considered myself so blessed because incredible natural and spiritual family has always surrounded me.

Having a support system can help lessen feelings of loneliness. Doing things that you enjoy with others and even by yourself can give you a different focus. Thinking always about your state of being alone only increases the loneliness. We can’t soar in life until we release thoughts of loneliness. Look for positive things to do that bring joy to you. That’s how I handled feelings of loneliness when I felt lonely. Although presently, I am not in any relationship, I involve myself doing things I enjoy. I don’t believe in waiting for someone to make me happy. And we know happiness is fleeting. Also, my children and granddaughter don’t give me many opportunities to feel lonely. Our times spent together with family games and traveling are so enjoyable. But even when I am physically alone, I don’t dwell on my situation. Doing so can be consuming and hurtful. I try to spend some quality time with God. Reading His word, thinking of His goodness and bountiful blessings, easily conquer any feelings of loneliness that may occur. I know that in God’s timing if I wait patiently, He will send me the right person that I desire in my life. I have to do it His way.

The holidays are soon approaching and can be a stressful time for many people. Now is the time to prepare oneself not to be alone, but do it God’s way. Don’t do things that will temporarily cause you to feel fulfilled, but will harm you spiritually for the long run. If you are single and desiring companionship, wait on God. I know I say that all the time and waiting can get tiresome(I even get tired sometimes), but doesn’t come close to the heartache that can occur if you don’t wait on God. When we are quick to do things our way, we mess up. I know. We never want our actions to delay our blessings. So loneliness, which way? Choose God’s way.

I guess everyone was busy or needed a reminder to send me your thoughts on loneliness that I wanted to include in this post. One reader did send me this statement (Thank you very much!) that I found to be very enlightening. “But I truly feel that one should not ignore it/ “loneliness,”…but first acknowledge it and seek to find “the” way through the anguish and despairing emotion of loneliness, whether alone or not. For one thing that I know for sure is that when one feels lonely, it could take them on a downward spiral if they don’t get lifted-up and healed from its wounds…for its darts penetrate deeply into the heart, mind, and soul.” Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 1 Peter 5:7. I’ll be back next week with a new post, “If you only knew…what would you do?”

Be encouraged, and God bless!

Sister Jackie