Have you ever thought about things that have happened in your life as a result of your actions? Later only to say, if I had only known what the outcome and results would be beforehand, I wouldn’t have gone that route. I know it is so easy to say should have, could have, would have, if I had only known what I know now, after the fact. But, it’s so important to look at the things that have caused us heartache and pain in the past, so we won’t make the same mistake again or even worse repeatedly.
As I look over my life and take a closer look at what has caused me the most discomfort, pain, or heartache I try to think about if I had only known that the route I took was going to be hurtful, would I have taken it? No way! You might be thinking in terms of your heartaches; there is no way you would have allowed certain situations to happen if you knew the results beforehand. I know I wouldn’t have purposely faced the inevitable pain that I suffered if I could have had a peek into the future, and I know I am not alone. But, we don’t get to do that, unfortunately.
So what happens? For me (in one relationship), I looked past the signs that were staring at me. Has that ever happened to you? As much as I would like to say I can’t believe the person acted the way that they did, later on in the relationship, God never leaves us alone in any situation, which includes matters of the heart. He will send us warnings that we often ignore. Why? Because we want to feel that everything will be alright because of who we are.
If you only knew that the person who you are in love with would not be there for you in the long run, or would cause you heartache, you might say I would never have someone like that in my life. So, what happens? Often we overlook the signs. The person treats you well during the courtship and tells you a lot of sweet “somethings” and a lot of sweet “nothings.” May even tell you that they have waited to be with you all their life. What if there is a feeling in your spirit telling you that something is not quite right? So do you choose to continue to be with that individual and maybe ultimately get married and ignore what you are feeling? Many times that is what happens.
Unfortunately, sometimes we only see or are only interested in how we are feeling in the present, not considering the future, which, in essence, is the long run. A 5K race ( 3.1 miles) is much easier to run than a full marathon, which is 26.2 miles. The 5K race gives quick gratification when completed, and is not as challenging. But, imagine the feeling that comes from completing a marathon race. Great accomplishment, but not without hard work. We have to want more than instant and quick gratification.
As I end this post, hear me with this. I chose to say no to someone in my life and years later decided to say yes. The things that made me say no, in the beginning, had not ultimately changed. I can say if I had only known the outcome, I wouldn’t have changed my mind, but I did know it as I think back. I just chose to look beyond some things — a big mistake on my part. God gave the signs right up to the day that I should have walked away! I looked beyond them. Sometimes we don’t want to be transparent in front of others. We feel that we have to go forward with the decisions we have made. Later on, we regret doing so as I did. But, I won’t repeat that cycle. All of that was a hard learning experience for me, but one that has helped me to grow.
I know that this post was very long. I apologize for that, but I needed to be transparent for a moment. Take the time to look at your past heartache; it can teach you a lesson. Listen to the voice of God and heed His signs that He so lovingly gives to us. If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. James 1:5. I’ll be back next week with a new post, “What I need to know: Can I trust you?”
Be encouraged, and God bless!
Sister Jackie
I have said many times to my students (when I taught) and to others: we get to choose the behavior, the action, the sin, the wrong choice, but we don’t get to choose the consequences. I thank God for Mercy and Grace.
I thank Him for being the God that has taken my bad decisions and made it work for me, however, my desire, Sis Jackie, is to wait or seek God concerning all matters.
Thanks again for sharing your thoughts, experiences and wisdom.
When we seek God in all matters the results will be favorable every time! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. They blessed me.
So true, “hindsight is 20/20”, which makes us have to live and learn by a process. I have found it to be very true to “be” mindful to not return to what God delivers us from, key word “delivered”…Knowing whether a relationship was simply problematic and un-wise, or, that one was delivered from it, therefore, I’ve learned, that for me, there is a huge difference when choosing reconciliation… But too, for me, I have to accept the consequences of my wrong choices because, I often convinced myself that I wanted to be in relationship with them, whether it was friend, family, or an intimate relationship, no matter what they said or did in defense of themselves, whether genuine or not. But bottom line, human emotions are a challenge to bring into subjection. I think I’ve learned my lesson finally because, I am “cautiously optimistic” about “ALL” relationships, key word “cautious”. You really made it plain Sis. Praying God will give us the desires of our hearts…
What a word!!!! We must be mindful before we go “back” to what we initially refused. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. They truly blessed me.
I must admit that I have repeated some mistakes and it was only because I allowed myself to get caught up in the moment and did just what I WANTED TO DO. Like myself, others often quote the scripture (Psalms 37:4) that “God shall give us the desires of our hearts”. We get excited and think ‘oh what a gracious and loving God’. But I have recently come to see that scripture with a better understanding because I paid attention to the whole verse that says ‘DELIGHT thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart’. Taking notice that the chapter begins with warning and consequences to doing things outside of the will of God. Then the scripture reminds us to Trust & Delight ourselves in the Lord and even after receiving the desires to Commit our ways to the Lord. Obedience to the Word of God and heeding to (rather than ignoring) the red flags will keep us from much heartache. I’m learning that I have to turn a deaf ear to my own flesh and listen to God (scripture & biblical teachings). I get even more insight from you My Sister, when you share your experiences. Thank You So Much and keep the knowledge/wisdom coming!!! Looking forward to next week already.
Well said my sister! Thank you so much for your insightful wisdom and expounding on God’s word. God bless you and I believe “next time” will be better for us both!
Sis Jackie,
The last sentence in the third paragraph gave me a “WOW” moment to reflect on at length. Remember… God Centered, God Focused, God Directed “ not who we are” (in this case) may result in receiving the “Desires of Your Heart”!
Blessings,
Sandy
Obeying the word of God can lead to the fulfillment of what our heart desires. As a child of the King, our life should reflect Him for others to see. That is what sets us apart from the world and makes us “who we are.” If only others would take the time to appreciate the God in us. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and God bless you!