I was in a conversation recently with one of my dear friends, and in the discussion, she shared a saying someone told her. “If Helping You Is Hurting Me, It Needs To Stop!” Wow! I had to think about it for a minute. Overall, I enjoy helping anyone in need because we never know when our time for help may come around. But have you ever helped someone over and over until it appears that you are becoming an enabler? The person is happy and delighted to come to you for assistance, but the situation is no longer suitable for you after a while. Something needs to change!
On the contrary, depending on the nature of your helping, its joy may become burdensome after a while. For example, sometimes parents can do so much for their children that they become dependent and expectant, and it’s hard to break the chain. The good deeds may cause financial burdens on the parent and strain the relationship. Then the thought becomes, “If Helping You Is Hurting Me, It Needs To Stop!”
Likewise, too many women desire to be in a relationship with someone, and they give and buy everything to support the man and gain his attention. But, to what end? He becomes comfortable with the situation, and things quickly change when the other person tires. Too often, women sell themselves out to have and keep a man in their lives. Have you ever seen that happen? I have. Fortunately, in due time some say, “If Helping You Is Hurting Me, It Needs To Stop!” And they stop.
As I conclude, I am all for helping family, friends, and even strangers sometimes, but I don’t like to feel used. If I am not married, my money does not depart from me to support a man’s lifestyle.
My sweet sisters, be clear you can’t buy love. Giving a helping hand to someone is different from taking care of the person while neglecting your own needs. Look at a situation for what it is, and after doing so, if you say, “If Helping You Is Hurting Me, It Needs To Stop!” It would be best if you stopped, period. Seek the Lord and his strength, seek his face continually. 1 Chronicle 16:11. I’ll be back next week with a new post, “A Time To Blossom!”
Be encouraged, and God bless!
Sister Jackie
Good Afternoon! This blog is a reminder of some past mistakes that I have made. I know that God Blesses us to be used as His servants to bless and be a blessing to others but God does not set us up to be misused or taken advantage of. It’s up to us to seek God even in helping others so that we don’t sow in unworthy soil nor cast our pearls before pigs! Giving to the wrong cause or person is like stealing from your Mother’s purse giving it to a thief – God is a awesome and loving Parent and I’m am still learning how to use what HE gives me right(ously)!!!
Thank you for sharing those enlightening comments. Yes, God wants us to bless others but not be enablers in the process. Every open hand is not to receive. Listen to His direction, and we won’t miss out on “entertaining angels unaware” nor the blessings in store for us as “righteous givers.” May the grace of our loving Savior keep and cover you in your daily walk with Him. God bless you, and so good to hear from you.
AMEN, You expressed this topic well and plain. And, The Bible makes it clear to us, that, that is not what the Lord requires of us.
“For I mean not that other men be eased, and ye burdened: …
But by an equality,…: that there may be equality:” – 2 Corinthians 8:12-13a, c.
Glad that we can go to the Word of God and hear the truth, and that God uses messengers like you to “make it plain” with clarity, this tedious journey of life that we MUST walk through, so that we can live free and whole.
As always, thank you for sharing such relevant wisdom for the season that we are living in today. May God continue to Bless and keep You!
Thank you so much for sharing those enriching comments. The Word of God always clarifies and sets us on the correct pathway in life. God is fair and righteous! God bless you abundantly and continue to increase your wisdom in His Word.
Always inspirational,relevant, thought- provoking and most of all; lessons to learn/grow. This is no exception.
I think most of us, at one time or another, have felt used or taken advantage of; some followed Jesus just for the fish and loaves of bread. Let’s continue to watch and pray….. in All things.
Thanks Again
Amen! When we watch and pray, we will proceed the right way! Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments. May the peace and joy of God be with you today and always. God bless you.