How often do we go along with someone else to get along with them? We practically give up everything or most things that make us happy to make someone else happy. Remember happiness is fleeting so it is only a temporary measure, that we can’t hold onto as much as we try. Should we try to do things and give of our self to help others feel good and experience some happiness? Is there anything wrong with that? The answer is, “No.” It’s nice to be helpful, but where do we draw the line? How much of our giving to others and placing our self on the back burner should we do? These questions I ask strictly in terms of our personal relationships.
Have you been in a relationship where you found your self on the back burner? Your needs and desires placed second, but you freely put that person in the number one spot to get along. You went with whatever they wanted not to make any waves, waiting for the tables to turn at some point. In the beginning, it’s alright because you want to do everything that you feel will express your caring and maybe even love for this person. But, after a while, your concessions are met with expectation, so you continue to go along to get along. Now there is a difference in making compromises. In any relationship, there should be compromises on both sides. My mother would say, “This isn’t Burger King; you can’t always have it your way!” It shouldn’t be your way or the highway, but where is the line drawn?
I know how it feels to go along to get along while on the inside, your heart is breaking. Because the more it’s done, the less attention to your needs. Although I should have been first in the other person’s life, I wasn’t. I don’t even know what number I held. Shame on me! Why do I say that? Because some of our heartache we bring on our self. Because we say we love God, we have salvation, or we are a Christian; it doesn’t mean we always have to take a back seat. That’s not humility at it’s best; it’s stupidity! A friend of mine from years ago used to say, “If a mouse will pull a house, hook him up!” We let that happen to us. Don’t allow yourself always to be placed at the bottom of a barrel in your relationship. If you don’t look for the royal treatment, you won’t receive it.
My point is to speak up, communicate your feelings to your spouse or significant other if you are one who mainly allows or do things to get along at the expense of your tender feelings. You deserve to be treated with love and respect and held to the highest regard in your position. If you are a spouse, you should be next in line after God for the best treatment. Don’t continue in a trend that only continues to cause you heartache or brokenness. If you are a significant other, keep a close watch on your treatment during the relationship. Things that are wrong in this stage don’t straighten out just because you say, “I do.” Remember you must give the best just like you expect to receive it. Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets. St. Matthew 7:12. I’ll be back next week with a new post, “To Share or Not to Share!”
Be encouraged, and God bless!
Sister Jackie
Really good.
Thank you. My therapist just suggested this may be the issue with me and my husband. So I came straight home to search the expression, go along to get along. Your explanation met my experience.
I will share with my therapist.
Thank you!
Thank you for sharing. God bless you, and I pray all will work out well for you and your husband.
Thank you and God bless you!
Amen…This is so good Sis, because, I’ve learned that, regardless of the type of relationship, whether it is co-worker, relative, neighbor, friend, church members, or even strangers, …that it doesn’t have to be only a spouse/partner, …that “Some” people are simply, “greedy selfish users” and twist the circumstances and even The Word to fit their selfish use, with NO regard to another living soul, because they have hardened hearts. This made me think of when I was a child, and there was always that person, even a so-called “friend”, that never wanted it to be your turn first, that they always had to be first, in-between and last, leaving you with nothing at all,..WELL, I learned that they just grow up to be adults that do the same thing…Me, I’m learning how to remember “me”, as God remembers me daily…and I’m so glad that “i” now know, that the world revolves around “HIM”, not them…Keep sharing these powerful words of wisdom Sis, it’s truly being a blessing to my life and others too.
Yes, this type of behavior happens in all types of relationships, unfortunately, but when we know better we do better. Not going along to get along anymore. We are royalty, children of a King! Thank you so much for always sharing such powerful thoughts. God bless you!
I can definitely agree that most of my heartaches was self inflicting. Thank God for deliverance and a new found wisdom.
God will open our eyes and always lead us in the right way! Thank you so much for sharing. God bless you!
Thanks again for the words of wisdom; some birthed from experience. Keep inspiring others. You were born to do what you’re doing……comforting others.
God bless you and thank you for your untiring support.