“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and go free.” Catherine Ponder

There comes a time when you have to let go of the hurt and pain to move forward.  The way to do that is to forgive the offender. Forgiving the individual/s does not, by any means, condone the behavior or make them less accountable for their actions. When we are hurt, we want someone to pay for what we suffered. No amount of money or time could pay the price, but we can cancel the debt by giving our forgiveness. Isn’t that what Jesus did? He gave his life to cancel our debt of sin. What a gift! Whether an individual is repentant or not does not let us go free from forgiving the person. 

When I decided to forgive the one who had caused me much heartache, it was more than a decision. It didn’t happen quickly. It didn’t happen because the individual asked for forgiveness. Frankly,  I believe those were just words uttered to appease me because there was no change in behavior. So, why did I do it? Because after harboring feelings that I was not proud of being a woman of God I knew I had to look beyond the hurt, beyond the pain, beyond the humiliation and focus on what God has commanded all of us to do. Forgive. When I looked at the person, in my heart, I had to say, “I forgive you.” 

I remember thinking if Jesus came back today, or my life ended, where would I stand. I knew assuredly, after all the years of loving and serving Him, my living would have been in vain. Why? Because if I couldn’t forgive someone, He would not forgive my trespasses.  I had too much to lose.  Once I made my mind up to trust God to help me to forgive, I had to act upon that decision. I could no longer harbor resentment from past wounds.

I remember one day being in Walmart, and as I passed the book section, I saw a book that caught my attention.  It was one of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books: The Power of Forgiveness by Amy Newmark &  Anthony Anderson.  I quickly purchased it. That evening I read until the wee hours of the morning. I read story after story. As I read in the background I was playing, “A Heart that Forgives” recorded by Kevin Levar. In my mind, I thought of every pain and heartache I felt in my relationship.

First, I became mad because I had given so much to have a good relationship. I loved the person wholeheartedly.  My face flooded with tears I began to say, “I forgive you” for each painful deed. I kept saying it until the stain of hurt began to dissipate. I said it until I began to feel joy in my heart where hatred had started to grow ( I am ashamed to say that I did feel hatred, but I had to be honest with myself and God.). I cried out to God that night because I said I need to forgive.  I was persistent as Jacob was when he wrestled with the angel. I wasn’t going to stop until God helped me. It didn’t matter if it took all night long. God heard my earnest prayer.

You will know when you genuinely forgive. Did I forget what I had encountered? No. But, the pain of heartache God removed as only He could. Now I can talk to the person and not harbor ill feelings. Again, that did not happen overnight. It took a long time to reach that point, but thank God I made it! I need you, my sisters, to know that you can forgive what you thought was impossible to forgive.  You don’t forget, but forgiveness sets you free. And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your  Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses. Mark 11: 25-26. I’ll be back next week with a new post, “Forgiving Me!”

Be encouraged, and God bless!

Sister Jackie