Life is full of choices. We wake up in the morning, making choices. Do we get up now? Do we eat breakfast? What should we wear? Decisions, decisions, and more decisions. Most of our daily choices are not earth-shattering and take little thought or concentration. But, there are those choices that warrant much thought and prayer so that the result is not earth-shattering or devastating. In today’s post, I will be speaking of the decision to reunite with someone from a past relationship.This post is through the inspiration of a conversation that I had with several friends. The topic being when do you know it’s alright to rekindle a relationship with someone. Do I or don’t I? Most especially someone who caused heartbreak at times during the past relationship. The relationship may have been one as an unmarried couple or a married couple that separated or a couple who divorced, and one individual is seeking to unite again through remarriage.
What do you do? How do you decide that it’s worth taking a risk to be involved with the individual again? What are the signs that say go ahead to you or run for your life? Yes, first, we know we must consult God because He knows what’s best for us, but the reality is that many times emotions can cloud our thoughts so that some of the words God speaks to us get lost. One part of you may be remembering the things that tore you apart in the past relationship, while the other part of you remembers what drew you together in the first place. For you even to consider any possible new relationship, the forgiveness of past mistakes most likely would have already taken place. There has to be some level of trust again; if not, I cannot even imagine an individual getting together with someone by which they lack any degree of confidence.
But, yet how much is enough to renew or strengthen the love between the two individuals. How do you know that the things that caused the past heartache will not surface again? How do you know that next time will be better than the last go-round? How do you know that the person has made some needed changes within themself? If infidelity was a previous issue, can you have enough of a comfort level to not worry about whether or not the person is cheating on you when they don’t answer their cell phone quick enough when you call? I could go on and on with these questions, and technically I know it’s not an easy task or choice to make because we are human, and sometimes our human nature gets lonely and tunes out all spiritual reasoning that God instills in us. But, I know personally a few couples who separated in marriage for over a decade or two, but now are back together and for all appearances seem to have a stable marriage. I know other couples who divorced and remarried after many years of being apart. So, it is possible to reunite and rekindle a relationship. I am sure you know stories like this.
It’s easy for me to say trust God and don’t make a move until you genuinely hear His voice. I know that much fasting and prayer are necessary for situations like this. I know all of these things, but I also know that we can easily fall short and make a move that we will regret for the rest of our life. Because on the other hand, I know stories where the rejoining of individuals took a different turn. Lord have mercy; if I am transparent, I can tell you that giving someone another chance years later needs to happen via God’s direction. His last resort to get my attention in a particular relationship was the day of my marriage to someone I had refused to marry years ago. On that day, I didn’t heed His warning. Not funny, but in reality, I appeared to have had more sense and listened to God the first time more so than now in the present time. Lord, have mercy again! Age should make one wiser, and most times, it does, but when you are trying to fill a void, sometimes everything that you know is wrong gets clouded.
As I end this post, the main point I am trying to make is my usual. Lean not to your understanding of matters, but petition God like your life depends on it, and it does if you want more joy in your life. Someone may be facing a situation of whether or not to reunite with someone. Take the matter seriously as you would do with other cases in your life that call for serious decision making. Don’t make a move until God says so. Consider having your pastor, first lady, or another prayer warrior (whomever you feel comfortable in choosing) to pray with you about the issue. You don’t have to walk alone, but the final decision comes through you, hopefully with God in the leading role.
I would love for you to share any experiences you have in this area or situations, you know. If you took someone back in your life or someone accepted you back in their life, how did it happen? What was the final result? Please share your thoughts. If you want to remain anonymous to other readers, you may respond through my contact page. I will only share information with your consent anonymously. If you can shed light that will help someone else, please do. Through our testimonies, others can overcome. And Elijah came unto all the people, and said, How long halt ye between two opinions? If the Lord be God, follow him: but if Baal, then follow him. And the people answered him not a word. 1 Kings 18: 21. I’ll be back next week with a new post, ” Overcoming my Emotions!”
Be encouraged, and God bless!
Sister Jackie
I have No present or recent experiences in many years, but have had negative experiences in the past of taking someone back. But in time, for my situations, I learned that it wasn’t meant to be. I wanted it to work, it was my choice to be in it, but learning to let go and move on was the right thing for me to do. My biggest take-away was learning how to let go and be whole and move forward with my life in spite of the hurt of the loss. But I have seen others that have been able to work it out and they appear to do well after rekindling the relationship – so I think it is a case by case assessment. Being prepared for “whatever” and “however”, for ME, if necessary for the future, would be my plan of action. But truly we don’t know the outcome until we step in the water, whether we will sink or swim, …So I say choose wisely, because emotions are powerful, and, most of all don’t stop praying and believing God for “our” best outcome. KEEP HOPE ALIVE!!!
So, so true! We just don’t know, but so importantly as you said-Choose wisely and don’t stop praying and believing God!!!!! Thank you for those thoughtful words of wisdom. Blessings to you!