Ladies, you had an opportunity to hear from a few men concerning their views on relationships. I was hoping more women would have commented on the message those men were generating. Nevertheless, now it is your time to give your view. Every woman has some idea of her expectation of what constitutes a good relationship. However, we can sometimes be too accepting of negative behaviors. A woman’s view on relationships- what is yours?

We need to think seriously about our personal view on relationships because they shape our behaviors and may or may not contribute to our general well-being. Also, importantly some women do not know what they should be desiring or wanting in a relationship. Sometimes the relationships of others can influence someone negatively. For example, if the only relationships a person is familiar with denote abuse and mistreatment of women, someone may feel that is the way all relationships should be.  A person seeking love and affection may accept the beatings and harshness from someone because they say I love you along with the physical abuse. No, no, no. Unacceptable. As women of God, we need to model a life that shows we are children of a King and expect the royal treatment. 

 Here are responses from women of all ages and marital status on their views on relationships. I will list each respondent’s answer in no particular order. There are no names or ages to keep the identifications unknown. As you read, think about these questions: Are any of the views expressed similar to your own? Which opinions differ from your ideas? Based on what you read, do any of the views characterize a particular age group? What is your general thought on the responses altogether? Ok, are you ready? Let’s go!  A Woman’s View On Relationships (unedited):

I am looking for a man who can compliment my life (equal yoke)

God-fearing man

Easy on the eyes (handsome and health-conscious)

Confident and secure in himself

Established in his career

Great sense of humor

Respectful/ knows how to treat a lady.

Great sense of style (can dress)

Good credit score/knows how to save/ cheerful giver.

Family-oriented

Well-traveled

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For me:

*A guy who loves Jesus not only in words but in actions. Like it’s evident in his life that he is a follower of Christ

*Financially stable (doesn’t have to make more than me, but he needs to be able to cover his expenses before meeting me lol)

*Sense of humor

*Loyal and trustworthy

*Kind

*Family-oriented

*A true leader

*Attractive in my eyes

*Has no more than 1 child

*Loves dogs – can not be allergic to them

I would also prefer him to be tall, dark, of 1st or 2nd generation African or Caribbean-descent with a passport full of stamps….but I’ll take what I can get at this point. 🤷🏾‍♀️😂

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For me:

Clean cut man, good teeth, good body. Looks good in a suit and sweats…But seriously: I want a man that I can call my best friend. Who loves God more than me. A man that can look beyond the “tough exterior” and walls and see me, a small town girl trying to make it in the big city.

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I wanted someone who had ambition and drive, strong work ethic, must love Jesus and has a real connection to God, a real prayer life, emotional maturity, genuinely kind, humble, someone who would ADORE me lol, self-discipline and self-control, wise, kissable face, not too fat, skinny, or short

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I was looking for someone that made me smile—made me feel a different type of special. Matched or exceeded my level of education, work ethic, and drive— ultimately doing something to better themselves.

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I’m looking for someone who has their own walk with Christ. Someone who isn’t intimidated by my purpose in ministry. Someone who is thoughtful. A leader and someone who loves their family and wants to build their own family. A good listener.

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I’m looking for a true partnership, you got my back, and I have yours. Someone who is financially stable and responsible. Loyalty is huge! Must have a sense of humor. Adventurous, family-oriented and kind.

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Man of God

Has a heart for ministry and won’t be intimated by me being in ministry Attractive: spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically

Loves and accepts me for me but will challenge me to do better in love

Financially stable; in career

Wants to have kids

Well-spoken; articulate; can interact with different audiences

Passion for something positive

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A leader

Someone who loves God

Financially stable

Someone to build with

Someone who challenges me to do and be better

Loves to travel

Family-oriented (How is your relationship with your parents?)

Thoughtful, Kind, Generous

Ok to have to kids no more than two if possible and no baby mama drama!

Will still be open to having more kids if he has his own

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To me, a relationship hinges on communication. You cannot have an affective relationship if there is no communication between the two parties. What do I mean by that? The two parties need to be able to express and/or share whatever is on their mind, they need to be able to discuss their finances, they need to be able to just talk about any and everything without the other party getting upset or offended. That is not to say that everything we say will be what we want to hear, but we still need to be able to express it. There are things in my own relationship that I dare not bring up because an argument will ultimately occur, this should not be so. I am praying that God will fix it because you cannot be in a relationship and hold things in. We build our relationship with God through communication, well, we should build our natural relationships the same way.

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First I would like to say that, so glad that there are “good godly men” in the world. And that being said, that is to me, the ideal man, a “good godly man”. So, I believe that, “good godly men” will find not stop looking until they find their “good thing”, their rightful mate, their wife, especially created for them. And I also believe that, that can happen in “any” season of one’s life. So, to me, the ideal relationship, is to be found by that “one” good godly man, specially designed for me, …and everything else that, that union will need to be successful, I trust our Good God to do.  And in the meantime, doing all I know how to be a good godly woman…for it is most important to be evenly yoked.

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In order to maintain a healthy (marital) relationship, the following characteristics are upmost:

• Faith filled believer (i.e., Word of God)
• Open, and good communication (No hidden agendas)
• Commitment (promise keeper)
• Intentional intimacy (Incites impromptu sexual activity)
• Timeliness (Essential in mitigating the impact of possible disagreements, heartfelt issues, etc.) 
• Selfless (Serve w/love)

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My personal view on relationships is being with someone I connect with, not only physically but spiritually. I need someone I can be myself with and accepts me for who I am and isn’t afraid of communication. Now and then, a wild romp in the bedroom is essential, I need a partner who’s able to reach God and provide a covering as needed. A man with balance and that can adjust in any situation while providing a nurturing and peaceful home.😘

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Relationship

is about making a connection.

Family Connection-blood, DNA

 Business Connection-Skills, interest

Friend Connection-(Philia)Interest

Agape Connection-Faith In God

Eros- man and woman

 Someone once said that love is like a triangle;

where Christ is at the top and the man and woman are at the lower two intersecting corners.

When I think of relationship, I think of 5 Godly Connections;

Christlike

Communication

Consideration

Cooperation

Celebration

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My view of a personal relationship begins with the desire to have someone who loves God with all his mind, heart, and soul. This man would then be able to love, honor, and cherish me as God has commanded. I will not have everything I may desire in a relationship because we are all human and have frailties, but I have several non-negotiables. I must trust the man that I love and want to be with my days and nights. We must be able to communicate on different levels-spiritually and naturally. We must agree to disagree and yet remain in love with one another. There has to be integrity in our relationship. I know what it feels like to be in a relationship that lacks trust, honesty, and integrity. I can’t travel that road anymore. 

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What I look for in a relationship… I look for trust, faithfulness, loyalty, protection and love… First he must have a relationship with God..If he can be vulnerable with God ..then I know he can be vulnerable with me. Some one who has Goals long term and short term ..not broke minded…Everyone can say they love you but do they really show it ..love is a verb… We have to be able to like each other as friends ..In order to have a healthy relationship you have to work on yourself..Make sure you are the best you /healthy you ..Make sure you heal from your past hurts and try not to take it into your future relationship. 

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In a relationship, I want to be with someone that I’m free to be myself with. I want someone that can accept every part of me. Someone who love and seeks to please God. A man that loves and values family, who enjoys spending quality time together. Someone I can build with in every aspect of life. I don’t need anyone to complete me, but rather someone that enhances who I already am. Someone that can lovingly call me out on my wrong and help me be better. A man that doesn’t see weakness in vulnerability. Last but not least a man that will love me just as Christ loves the church! 

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At this point, I feel like the most important relationship is with myself. I’m twice divorced and have just started dating after 12 years. I’m open to a healthy relationship. I’m focused on me and unwilling to settle. I do believe in friendship as a foundation for a healthy relationship. 

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 Well, ladies, this is what a portion of women are saying about relationships. What are your thoughts about these perceptions? Please share. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Ephesians 5:21. I’ll be back next week with a new post, “Somebody Tell Me Why!”

Be encouraged, and God bless!

Sister Jackie